You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
