Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
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pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
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My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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