Apparently you make a good broom.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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