Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
