I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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