I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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