The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
