I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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