we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
