I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
my god I love twenty year old dicks
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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