Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
