I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize