exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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