i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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