I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
