I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
