girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
