You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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