For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
