I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
