Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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