I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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