She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
