Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
