so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
