I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
