Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
