youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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