i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
