I want to walk on stilts...naked
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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