i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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