grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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