Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
