just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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