Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
