today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Damn victory sex feels great
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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