She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
