I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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