I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
