the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
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Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
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Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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