New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
