You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
