where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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