he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
