I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
