Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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