I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
