I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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