i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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