Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize