she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
