I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
