I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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