11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
