Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize
