Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
