im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
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I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don't deserve a penis
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
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Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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