is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Drunk is not a location!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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