see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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