As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
