Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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