Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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